Wallow In It Wednesday

Wednesday. The halfway point of the work week. Some call it hump day, but that makes it sound way more fun than it actually is. Like a Skeazy Bar Promotion in a college town.

Give us two donkey punches, bro

Give us two donkey punches, bro

No, by the time Wednesday hits, I’m more inclined to wallow in spoiled sorrow about my moderately unpleasant corporate job and the makings of a hangover. Today’s prescription? Take two of these and call me in the morning

http://teamcoco.com/video/conan-app-review-stress-relievers#t=0:00

http://uproxx.com/tv/2014/04/game-of-lulz-the-internets-best-reactions-to-this-weeks-game-of-thrones-2/#page/1

– Stephen

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HBO Shows To Stream on Amazon Prime!

tb

No, seriously. And you know the issues I’ve had in the past with HBO making its’ content easily available.

http://mysocalledtvblog.com/2012/06/25/hbo-go-uhh-go-um-whenever-youre-ready-hbo-ill-wait-here/

Here’s more info on it http://uproxx.com/tv/2014/04/you-will-soon-be-able-to-stream-hbo-shows-movies-on-amazon-prime/

But this looks like it’s legit, so rejoice! And watch a lot of HBO. Legally!

sc

– Stephen

Widow’s Peaks, and Why I Don’t Watch Homeland

Claire Danes and I have a complicated relationship.  As a chubby, precocious 14 year old growing up in a small town, Angela Chase was my manic pixie dream girl before it was a thing.  And without the pixie size.  Or manic behavior.  She was actually pretty low key, now that I think about it.  But man, I loved her.

The poetry of the 90's.  No wonder everyone hated us.

The poetry of the 90’s. No wonder everyone hated us.

In a town populated with mostly homely women (aka blondes) that showed little interest in a boy who shaved his widow’s peak (because it was seriously out of control, you guys), I was on an island of celibacy.  I didn’t make out with girls in 8th grade.  I just wasn’t that guy.  I was the guy who shaved his widow’s peak.

You thought I was going to post a picture of Eddie Munster, didn't you?  Don't be a dick

You thought I was going to post a picture of Eddie Munster, didn’t you? Don’t be a dick

Side note, I did it because I thought it looked absolutely hideous, and I wanted a straight hair line across my forehead.  What I didn’t realize is even though I shaved it, there was still stubble.  So I “Naired” it.  That’s right, I put fucking Nair on my forehead.  And guess what?  There was still a shadow.  So then I put a BAND AID on my forehead, and pretended I somehow cut my forehead for two weeks.  I was a weird kid.

Anyway, I loved My So Called Life.  I mean, obviously.  It wasn’t about happiness, or everything working out.  People fought and didn’t make up in the same 30 minutes.  And, also… Brian MF Krakow.  My So Called Life was the realest thing ever.  Like The Wire for teen angst.  Which means Jordan Catalano was Omar Little.

I shot the boy Mike-Mike in his hind parts, that all.

I shot the boy Mike-Mike in his hind parts, that all.

So 1994-95 was a special time in my life.  A time when I didn’t feel like I was the only one who wasn’t taking a Kelly Kapowski-type out behind the school and getting her pregnant.

kelly2

After that moment in history, I kept waiting for for Angela Chase / Claire Danes to reappear and sweep me off my feet again.  Even at an early age, I had a hard time separating the actor from the role.  But unfortunately, the rest of her IMDB page reads like the kind of stuff I go out of my way to avoid, a laundry list of things like

“How to Make an American Quilt”

“To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday”

“Les Miserables”

“The Mod Squad”

“The Hours”

I'd much rather watch this

I’d much rather watch this

You get the gist.  Oh sure, you can throw in a “Romeo+Juliet” here and a “Terminator” there, but really, don’t both of those things suck?  And now, I’m at a point where I just can’t help but notice that as an actress, I hate Claire Danes.

angela

“I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

angela 2

“I’ve never been to a cabin with you, you psychopath.  I’m sorry if that hurts”

angela 3

“Just… Just don’t cry, okay?”

angela 4

“UGH”

I don’t hate her because she’s necessarily bad.  She’s just like Julianne Moore and Andie McDowell.  I don’t particularly like their brand of blandness.  So I won’t watch Homeland.  Probably ever.  I’ve heard it’s good, but I don’t care.  If you are interested, here are some people who say it’s good blah blah blah

http://www.metacritic.com/tv/homeland

http://www.avclub.com/tvclub/tvshow/homeland,269/

So watch if you must.  But I think I’ll stick to my MSCL DVD collection.

– Stephen

Anywhere But Home for the Holidays and Further Housekeeping Matters

First, dear readers, a mea culpa for no article last week.  Thanksgiving family time, a busy work schedule and the disgusting Cowboys performance left a bad taste in my mouth.  I needed an escape, I needed the beach, I needed a really good buffet and questionable shore excursions…

So I left the country entirely for a week long cruise with my girlfriend.  At some point I’ll be posting a bunch of pics to disgust and annoy all of my FB friends, but I’ll only make you look at a few.  I want to keep your hatred of me to a minimum, because later there will be IMPORTANT INFORMATION YOU NEED TO KEEP YOU ALIVE FOR GOD’S SAKE.  I don’t want you being so angry at my happiness that you quit reading.

Robe

sandcastle

Congratulations, you’ve made it through the first gauntlet.  You’ve reached the “I don’t like you, but damn it I respect you” stage.  On to other matters.

It’s December finally, which is to be quite honest the best time ever.  Not only do I get double the presents (I was born in December) and a few free days off of work, I get to see my family again (who are giving me presents this time AS IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE).  Also, it really is better to give than receive.  For instance, I bought three of the item below.  So if you are one of my friends, this is a very exciting time in your life.  I may have gotten one of them for you!


sj

Anyway, I know that some of you out there may not like Christmas.  It’s probably because you don’t watch enough TV, to be quite honest.  Because holiday episodes are the best.  See below for confirmation.

Finally, and I’m just gonna come out and say it because I gave up on pride a long time ago, WE NEED WRITERS.  If you know any, please send them our way.  This was started as a communal blog between Josh and I, and we want to include anyone who loves something about television.  It can be one specific program or the general idea of television.  It can be an article every week or every third January.  If you want to write something, contact us.  We’ll put it up.  I just want it to be all inclusive.  It should be a forum for the most consistent media/art form we as Americans observe/participate in.  If you want to write a 30 page dissertation about the tribal council of Survivor and its implications on American society, DO IT.  If you want to write a 30 word twitter feed article about the hotness of the new Bachelorette’s boobs, DO IT.  We’ve had a few contributors, whom I greatly appreciate.  I know writing is a daunting task, and you are worried it won’t be good.  But it doesn’t matter if it’s good, we’ll post it.  Because, folks, we simply have no shame.

– Holiday hugs and kisses from Stephen and all both of us here at MSCTVB

The Walking Dead Giveth and The Internet Taketh

The Walking Dead is an odd duck.  I mean, thank God America finally got its act together and provided the world with a zombie TV show.  Instead of trying to watch the world fall apart, establish the survivors’ personalities, throw in some sex and conflict, and have all of your survival plans go to shit all in two hours or less, we get to follow these people weekly.  It gives it time to breathe, time for character development, blah, blah.  Also, MORE CARNAGE.

But seeing these people weekly also exposes just how underdeveloped, annoying, hollow, etc all of these characters can be.  It reveals the inconsistency in the writing of these people, and stretches the believability of the world when someone like CAROL OF ALL PEOPLE is somehow still alive in Season 3.  Although, to be fair, at least she’s no longer the meek wife who gets beat, or the grieving mother.  Now, she’s just a dirty old sexpot.

And oh my God, did The Walking Dead experience some growing pains.  Sure, when it first came out in 2010, the comic world rejoiced.  Finally, this incredible tomb of zombiedom would be realized in a more visual media.  Michonne!  The Governor!  Live and in color.  It was all I could do not to masturbate in a crowded living room on that fateful Halloween night.

They hated to see me like that. And they hated how I always wanted to cuddle after…

I think the fact that this show existed at all allowed most fans to overlook a few of the stinker moments in Season 1, including the infuriatingly ludicrous “Vatos”.   We wanted it to be good SOOO bad we fought through the filler, and the T-Bags of the show.  Because I mean, come on, there’s no way that son of a bitch is making it to Season 2.

The problem was that of all the networks to give the show a chance, the beloved AMC ended up being the home for TWD.  So while they would throw an occasional bone to us gore fans, they also spent an awful lot of time talking, trying to develop some sort of existential crisis or something like that.  Trying to be a prestige show really started to rub some uber fans the wrong way.  Also, this whole thing

Where’s Rick? I wanna whisper a secret to him…

And then Season Two happened…

 

To be fair, I recently rewatched Season Two marathon style, and it seems a lot less meandering when you just power through it in a few days.  It’s ALMOST good television (or maybe I’m just defending it again).  Also, DARYL MOTHERFUCKING DIXON, THE MOST BADASS DUDE EVER PEOPLE:

Oh, right. Sorry, I’ll keep my voice down and get back to the article.

But when they were released, the internet exploded.  It provided great laughs, for sure, including these…

http://videogum.com/393602/the-walking-dead-s02e01-one-child-left-behind/tv/recaps/

http://videogum.com/408171/the-walking-dead-s02e04-this-show-is-a-discrete-feminine-product-what/tv/recaps/

http://videogum.com/413492/the-walking-dead-s02e05-ever-done-in-it-a-hayloft/tv/recaps/

AND THIS

http://www.facebook.com/TheWalkingDeadSeasonTwoIsBAD

AND THESE

http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6743808/10-reasons-why-the-walking-dead-should-just-kill-carl

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-the-walking-dead-has-to-get-better/

In other words, the greatest thing to ever happen to my work day.  I lived a double life, simultaneously despising the show during the day, reading all of this hilarious stuff cutting the show off at the knees.  And then, sadly… Every sunday night I would huddle up on the couch alone, trying to will the show to be good through the television.

The Shocker: UR DOIN IT WRONG

What’s funny is with all of this hate pouring out from the triple dub, TWD was pulling in massive ratings.  It was the highest rated cable show in the history of boob tub age.  Actually, it wasn’t funny at all.  It made me feel like I was watching the cable equivalent of Two and a Half Men.  Oh, God… What have I become…

I can smell the sex puns from this picture. It smells like America

It depressed me.  The last few episodes of the season picked up steam, and built some momentum.  I held out hope that maybe, just maybe this ship could be righted.  There was a glimpse of the prison, and look!  There’s Michonne with her two “pets”!  It’s all happening now…  But would the internet forgive the atrocities TWD had committed?  I waited with baited breath, or something similarly poetic and awkward.

While we couldn’t get them all back, because some people had seriously just had enough of that shit, TWD did get back one key demographic with Season 3’s premiere:  THE INTERNET!!

http://www.avclub.com/tvclub/tvshow/the-walking-dead,139/

http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2012/11/how-the-internet-reacted-to-last-nights-shocking-episode-of-the-walking-dead/#page/1

I feel so proud, watching a Zombie show that finally realized it’s potential.  If you have a sick day, use it.  Power through the bullshit of Seasons 1 and 2, just so you know who people are and stuff, then come back to the fold.  Because it’s so fuckin on now.  My baby’s all growed up!

– Stephen