Diary Of A Creepy Kid

I’m ashamed to admit that I was late jumping on the Mad Men bandwagon.  Like really late.  Like oh my god I might be preggo late.  I caught bits of episodes here and there, but was never able to sit still long enough to get into the series until about season 3.  This isn’t a show that you can just jump in and watch.  If you’re reading this and have never seen the show, get on Netflix right the damn now and start watching.    But I’m not here today to champion Mad Men.  Nay, I’m here to critique one of the most polarizing kids in television history.  I am speaking of course of Glen Bishop and his creepy factor. 

This kid

If you Lougle creepy kid from Mad Men, you’re getting a pic of Glen.  Not Sally.  Not Bobby.  You’re getting Glen’s dead eyed star looking back at you.  But is Glen really all that bad?  My wife can’t watch any scene with him without some level of discomfort.  So what make Glen so goddamn off-putting?  Is it the staring?  It’s the staring isn’t it?  Is it the monotone delivery that sounds like Glen practiced this conversation in the mirror last night?  Maybe Glen is just a misunderstood kid.  Or maybe Matt Weiner decided to throw in a future serial killer to disrupt our happy little neighborhood that’s already filled with booze, heroin, adultery, and now suicide.  Thanks a lot Lane.   Weiner insists that Glen wasn’t created to be intentionally creepy.  I disagree sir. 

Laughter is the best medicine. Also penicillin.

So what exactly is the source of Glen’s creepiness?  Let’s take a look.  We first meet this kid when he’s about eight.  He’s the son of a single working mom in the 60’s and doesn’t have a father figure in his life.  Ruh roh.  There’s no one there to tell him to stop staring at Betty like he’s about to serve her up with a side of mashed taters. 

If you squint she kinda looks like cotton candy. Morbidly obese cotton candy.

Everything started off okay with Glen.  He’s a quiet kid that seems to get along with the Draper kids.  Then things took a slight turn.  Our little hero strolled into the bathroom while Betty was popping a squat.  Here we go.  But maybe Glen walked in by accident and froze up…while continuing to watch Betty pee.  Then came the hair thing.  Who the hell asks for somebody’s hair?  A crazy bastard looking to make a hair doll, that’s who. 

Hello reader. See you in your dream tonight.

And why the shit did Betty give him hair?  That’s creepier than the actual request!  That’s like inviting a vampire into your house!

*Quick editor’s note:  I’m writing this article while waiting for the plane to take off.   I keep getting distracted because there’s an infant in the seat next to me that’s giving me the stink eye.  Is he trying to fight me?  Maybe he’s evil.  And now he’s crying.  I promise I didn’t head butt him.  Probably should have.  Back to the post.

So Glen and Betty break up and he sets his lazy eye on getting Sally.  I’ve always thought that he’s just been using Sally as a gateway to get more Betty hair.  And for some reason, he always fingering some piece of rope like it’s his goddamn totem and he just got incepted. 

* Now the baby is kicking me while his mom is holding him.  Was that a challenge?  Did I mention he’s Asian?*

The last time we see young Glen, he’s a little busy trashing the Draper house.  But it’s not the normal lashing out of an emotional tween.  Glen methodically takes apart that kitchen like he’s been planning this caper for months and he doesn’t want forensics on his trail.  We’ve got a future Dexter on our hands. 

Our top headline today: Dexter is just an okay show.

* That baby is crying again.  But I think mom just put him in the sleeper hold cause he just dropped.  Thanks God, I owe you one.*

So fast forward to an older Glen and it looks like the Draper’s restraining order is intact.  Glen’s at a boarding school and he can only talk to Sally on a community phone while not wearing pants.  Everything is just fine…..wait what?

I think the other major reason people find Glenn creepy is his demeanor.  That’s Matt Weiner’s kid out there.  I’m not so sure that he’s a trained actor.  His wooden delivery and blank stares are pretty robotic.  Like creepy robotic.  Creepy, stabby robotic.  It’s a little hard to identify with that kid, so maybe that’s why everybody is afraid of him.  Or maybe it’s the staring thing again. 

Yeah, it’s the staring

So is Glen the weirdest kid in TV history?  Did Matthew Weiner intentionally ensure that his son would never get laid?  Or is Glen just a quiet kid that’s really, really, misunderstood?  Personally, I don’t think we’ll get our answer until the ATF raids Glen’s compound and guns him down in a few years. 

Flight just landed.  I hate that baby.

– Josh

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One thought on “Diary Of A Creepy Kid

  1. In this lastest season of Madmen Glen appears to be Sallys boyfriend and in a recent episode visits Sally in NYC at Dons condo, but just when you think something creepy will happen, Glen surprisingly becomes more human then his previous appearances… If you havent seen it, sorry for the spoiler….

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