180 Degrees – The Skyler White Edition Part 1

Where I go from loving/hating a character to hating/loving them…

I’ve never been a big fan of hyperbole or grandiose statements, but Breaking Bad is the greatest show in the history of television.  Season 5 is currently filming and I am counting the hours until the premiere episode.  And part of the greatness of this show is how it took a character I totally despised and turned her into a character I laughed at, cried with, shared a cigarette with…  We’re even trading beauty secrets now.

But here at My So Called TV Blog, we believe in honesty.  So, I recently sat down with Skyler, to let her know that although she gets MASSIVE amounts of hate on the interwebz, I now love her and want her to avoid past mistakes and faux pas that reverse-endeared her to the audience.  And I fashioned it in the time honored American business tradition, a tradition of telling you suck in the most polite way possible:  THE PERFORMANCE REVIEW.

Calm down! We haven’t even started yet you psycho…

Skyler, come in and have a seat.  Yeah, just go ahead and get the door, if you would.  Thank you.  So, here we are.  Performance review…  I know, the words can be scary, but I think this will give you a nice perspective on what you’ve accomplished throughout the series of Breaking Bad so far, and where we are headed together.

Let’s start with your face…

Often, when administering these performance reviews, management will begin by listing an associates’ strengths, then areas of opportunity.  But we here at mysocalledtvblog do things a little differently.   So, if you’ll reference the materials I emailed you, you’ll see I’ve broken down your performance by season.  We’ll just briefly touch on each topic, starting with Season One.  As you can see, there are a few bullet points with the areas of focus.  I’ll briefly discuss each of these with you as we go along.

 Poor conflict resolution / communication skills

You went behind your husband’s back to Gretchen and Elliot to seek assistance for your husband’s illness and impending medical bills.  You organized a lynch mob/intervention to bully your husband into undergoing chemotherapy.  You ratted out your sister Marie to her husband Hank.  All of these things basically backfired on you and didn’t exactly endear you to the audience.  

 Emotional instability

Excuses are like assholes.  Everyone has one and they all stink.  That may seem harsh, but the show runners did you no favors by making you unlikeable BEFORE exploring the pregnant and hormonally-fueled “my husband has cancer, my son has cerebral palsy” angle.  Timing, they say, is everything.  And your timing in Season 1 was just plain unfortunate.  The few opportunities for sympathy you had were squandered with your shrew-ness.

ME??? EMOTIONAL???? GTFO

Now I don’t want to bore you with a bunch of idioms and management-speak, so I’ll use Laymen’s terms.  And it may sound harsh, but it’s tough love.  At this point of the series, we, and I mean the collective we of the audience, hate you. 

And not as the “character you love to hate.”  You are the character we hate to hate, because we wish you weren’t in existence in this fictional realm.  You are like the all encompassing archetype of what women fear they will become and men fear will become of their significant others.   When you google “I hate Skylar White”, this is what pops up:

http://www.cafepress.com/firstnameshop.105661121

But, hey, that’s only the first quarter of your performance review.  It sounds harsh, but it’s tough love, and I think you’ll see where I’m going with this.  If you’ll just flip to page 2 of the review…

– Stephen

COMING SOON:  Part 2, aka Where Skyler gets an almost kinda somewhat redemptive story arc

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