Bring Back Dan Cortese and Rock & Jock Please!

Am I the only person that misses Rock & Jock sports on MTV?  That shit was must see TV for me and my friends when I was growing up.  It was loose, featured a nice mix of well known celebrities and pro athletes, and best of all it was fun. 

Remember when I was in How to be a Player? Nah, me either.

 Those were the good old days when the only thing better than being extreme was being X-TREME.  That’s how I wanted my Doritos, and god dammit. that’s how I wanted my sports.  Gen X was ready to say fuck you to everything.  You want me to play baseball?  FUCK YOU!  I’m gonna ride this bike out of a plane!  WOOOOO X-TREME!  And we all know nothing is more X-treme than out of shape celebrities trying to play softball against pro athletes.

Dan Cortese was more famous than both of these guys once.

 

The MTV Sports host and symbol for everything X-treme was Dan Cortese.  Dan was a wild, slightly douchey, California guy fromPennsylvania.  He was the perfect bro for MTV at the time.  In the future, scientists will determine that all Jersey d-bags can be traced back to Cortese.  You know that guy was slaying ass all over the country starting in 1990.  I know it sounds like I’m trashing the guy, but I couldn’t get enough.  What can I say?  It was the 90’s.  Cortese was Rock & Jock and Rock & Jock was Cortese. 

I’m the bro prototype

Rock & Jock Softball looked like the most fun thing in ever.  I looked forward to seeing commercials for it every year.  I’d watch those games over and over just knowing that I was better than Kevin Costner.  The pro ball players would go out of their way to shame the completely uncoordinated celeb players.  Take that drama team!  Outside of Cortese, one of the only great celeb players I remember was MC Hammer.  That dude had game.  Being a bat boy for the A’s will do that.  I’ll always love John Kruk from his yearly antics.  I almost pee’d myself when Rafael Palmiero got to play.  There were genuine A-listers out there and it seemed like they were having fun.  We need this again.  Who cares about humanitarian efforts?  I gotta watch actors suck at softball!

Tell me you don’t want to see his antics. I bet somebody would wind up injured.

I know the MLB All Star game puts on a celebrity softball game every year but that thing sucks.  You know why?  Not X-treme enough.  Also boring.  What could make it more X-treme?  Dan FUCKING Cortese!  I haven’t talked to his agent or anything, but I’m pretty sure Dan’s available.  Let’s go back to the days when MTV had sweet shows like Buzzkill, Aeon Flux, and MTV Sports.  Or maybe I’m just letting nostalgia get in the way.  I can feel the X-citement in X-tacles!  Thanks Frisky Dingo. 

The best thing to ever happen to MTV

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