Top 10 TV Related Merchandise Items Part 2: TV Harder

Welcome back to Part 2 of the most essential list ever created in the history of ever.  Quit stalling, read it ALREADY COME ON!

 5.  “Game of Thrones” Sword

 

Sure, there’s incest, torture, the most hated character in the HISTORY of EVER.  (I’m looking at you, Joffrey).  But there is also wolves, nudity, dragons, “WINTER IS COMING” and SWORDS.  Oh my God, so many swords.  So many to choose from.  I went with Jon Snow’s sword mainly because it popped up first in Google.  THAT’S HOW EASY IT IS PEOPLE.

 http://www.amazon.com/Longclaw-Licensed-George-Martins-Thrones/dp/tags-on-product/B001KMBQX2

4.  “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” Chardee McDennis

 

If you’ve seen this episode, you already know.  It’s not a game, it’s a war.  If you haven’t seen it, may the God of TV have mercy on your soul…

 http://shop.fxnetworks.com/always-sunny-chardee-macdennis-wood-game-board-10×24/detail.php?p=361793

 3.  “Battlestar Galactica” LED Toaster

 

My girlfriend wants this really bad.  I will pay top dollar and do unspeakable things to get this item.  Like horrible, horrible things.  I can’t even post a link because they only sold 2,000 of these, like 75 years ago.  E-Mail us if you know who I need to rob.

 2.  “The Walking Dead” Shoes

 Admittedly, this wasn’t the greatest season of The Walking Dead.  Definitely a few turd episodes thrown in the mix (SOPHIA!!!!).  But this is more a reference of a recent trend to immortalize our favorite shows in new ways (And seriously, ZOMBIE SHOES).  Tauntr.com offers shoes for not only The Walking Dead fan, but also Breaking Bad, Dexter, and Parks and Recreation fans.  Etsy offers shoes for the Battlestar Galactica loving woman in your life.  It’s a natural evolution.  A t-shirt can only be worn once a week in public (unless you just REALLY don’t want to get laid), but shoes can be worn every day.  Personally, I like to mix and match, with one Walter White and one Zombie shoe.  But sometimes I lay awake at night, wondering how far we as a society are going to take things.  Will it one day be acceptable to have a GAME OF THRONES FACE TATTOO?  I have a dream…

 http://tauntr.myshopify.com/collections/all

 And finally, at #1 with a bullet…

 1.  “The Wire” Monopoly Game

 

OK, so this game doesn’t technically exist.  It’s the creation of some uber-fan in England.  If you do enough searching, you may find someone who will construct some facsimile of said game, or you could get ripped off, because people are just horrible these days (Have you even WATCHED THE WIRE!). But as of today, it’s my mission to get this game into full-time production.  Because I don’t want my children to live in a world where you can’t pretend to be fictional crack dealers in Baltimore, damn it.  For the love of God THINK OF THE KIDS!

 So there you go.  A full list of the most awesome TV-related items any psychotically-obsessed TV fan could ever want… AKA my Christmas list to Santa.  Fun things to play and wear that allow us to escape the humdrum world for a little while as we play with nun-chucks or fight off Cylons.  I’m a size 11 by the way.  You know, just in case…

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